


Weakness

by TheTravelingLemon



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: And mind fuckery, M/M, Mind Games, oh boy oh boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-19 22:45:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTravelingLemon/pseuds/TheTravelingLemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Moriarty's suicide, Sebastian tries to continue on in life. When he meets someone who looks exactly like Jim, he becomes paranoid and can't stop thinking that it might be Jim testing him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weakness

It had only been a few weeks since Sebastian had heard of his boss' suicide. It didn't feel right. Very unlike Jim. He could see Jim faking his death to finally get rid of Sherlock and scaring the crap out of him.  _Jim would get so bored and come back. He needed me. He wouldn't last long without someone guarding him, would he?_ He didn't doubt Jim's capability or durability, but he did realize that Jim's situations and problems tend to exceed his ability to function comfortably.  _That's why he hired me in the first place. Right?_

It took him a while to start doubting that Jim somehow survived. After 2 months, he stopped believing entirely. After 5 months, he even tried to forget and try to move on with his boring life. After almost a year, he wiped his mind of Jim Moriarty entirely.

And then he saw him.

It was a quick flash. As he was just about to sit down with his morning coffee, he saw a man with a latte leave the shop. He didn't get a good look at him, but he was sure it was Jim. Sebastian slowly trailed behind the man and made sure to keep an appropriate distance until the time was right. The man finally turned into a back alley way.  _Perfect. He's separate from the crowd. No witnesses_. Right as Sebastian was going to grab him, the shorter man turned around and let out a short gasp, dropping his coffee. Sebastian quickly covered his mouth with one hand, grabbed his two tiny wrists with the other and shoved him against the wall. He looked down into the man's cold black eyes. He was frantic and panicking, but it was defiantly Jim.

"Ok, you are going to listen to me. First, you are going to cut this "I don't know who you are, I'm so terrified" crap. Then, I am going to release you and you are going to as briefly as possible, explain your reason for going missing for the past year. And then-" He felt a sharp kick to the shin. He let go of Jim's mouth to grab his leg to keep it from continuously kicking him. "Let go of me! Who are you? Stop this!" His voice was so soft and passive and yet so scared. Sebastian was taken aback by this. He looks exactly like Jim, but the sound of his voice and his body language was completely wrong. Jim was too good at disguising himself, so he wasn't about to let his guard down, but if it really was Jim, he would want him to play along and not lay a finger on him. Sebastian released his grip. The man started to sink a little and lean more into the wall. He stared with wide eyes at Sebastian waiting for him to make another move.  _My god he's like a fucking deer in the headlights. He can't be- No. Don't even think it. He is right in front of you, Seb. He always pulls shit like this and you just can't question it and just follow his orders. He expects you to play along? Play along then._

Sebastian started rubbing his temple "I'm so sorry. I thought you were someone else, but clearly you're not. Please allow me to replace the coffee and pay for the dry cleaning of your clothes." Sebastian tried to look as least aggravated as possible and held out a hand to help him up. Now the man looked confused and was sniffling a little. "I thought you were going to mug me." Sebastian sighed and tried to remain composed. "Well, I'm not. I made a mistake and I would like to make it up to you so if you don't mind," Sebastian moved his hand closer. He finally took Sebastian's hand and got up. Sebastian grinned and gave him a strong handshake. "Name's Sebastian. Yours?" The man stuttered a bit, but finally relaxed. "James. But mostly people call me Jamie"

* * *

They soon began so see each other more frequently and began to date. It felt awkward for Sebastian. There were times where he still felt that it was Jim, waiting for the right opportunity to fully emotionally destroy him, and then Jamie would do something adorable or ditsy or so completely the opposite of Jim that he couldn't imagine it was possible. His doubts were overwhelming; creating a paranoia that he never had. And yet, Jamie was sweet and kind and understanding. He really loved Jamie and yet he was so frustrated and just wanted to watch Jamie burn and melt away into Jim Moriarty. Between the cuddles and kisses and sweet whispers to each other, he wanted to destroy him. He wanted to fill him with bullet holes until he finally whispered with his dying breath "gotcha" and then he would finally be able to wake up from this strange dream.

_Jim was dead. Jamie just happens to look exactly like him. Jim isn't trying to check up on me. Or could he be? Oh shit, I'm going crazy. That controlling bitch is dead and I'm still wrapped around his finger. Fuck Jim. I'm trying to have a normal relationship and life again, and even in death, he is managing to fuck that up. Damn him. I can't stop thinking about him. He is gripping my life by the balls and turning me into a bat shit crazy lovesick teenager! I am badass sniper for hire, god damn it! And yet here I am with this wuss. I mean, Jamie is a perfectly normal, nice guy, and yet I am daydreaming that he would really be my psychopathic boss returned from the dead. I was always the sane one of us two and now look at me! The fuck is wrong with me?_

"Are you ok? Is there something on your mind" Jamie placed his hand on Sebastian's and looked up at him, with big puppy-like eyes. Sebastian got lost in his thoughts and forgot that he was at Jamie's place. At first Sebastian smiled at him and was about to lie for his sake. Then he imagined Jim smirking at him the same way. That evil little lying smirk because he had to have known what he was doing was slowly eating away at Sebastian's mind. As his mix of anger and paranoia and depression started to rise and appear on his face, Jamie became more concerned. He wrapped his arms over Sebastian's shoulders and gave a small peck on the cheek. "Baby, I'm here. What's wrong?" Sebastian shoved him so hard that he fell to the ground. "DAMN IT JIM, JUST STOP THIS. YOU WIN. I'M LOSING MY DAMN MIND, SO JUST ACT LIKE YOURSELF AGAIN AND JUST STOP!" Jamie had such pity and sadness in his eyes. He got up and reached out his hand to place it on Sebastian's cheek. Sebastian grabbed his wrist and pulled out his gun and put it on his throat. "JIM I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU-" Jamie was trembling and crying and choking on his breaths trying to speak. Seeing him like this made him even more furious at first, but slowly seeing him in such terror made it all bubble away.

 _No. It never could have been Jim. Jim Moriarty is dead and I almost hurt Jamie. Sweet innocent James. I almost-oh god what have I done?_ Sebastian released him and took a step back. He left very clear red marks on his wrists where his fingers have been. He looked down and covered his face with his hand. "God, I am so sorry. You aren't him and you will never be him." He put the gun down and slumped back on the couch. He breathed heavily for a moment, trying to recouperate. When he finally did, he flipped his hair back and gave a smile as he went back to him normal calm self. "You'll have to forgive me James. I'm fine. Really. It's all so much better now." Jamie sat next to him and held his hands. He finally realized what was eating at him. "The day we met. Who did you think I was?" Sebastian chuckled. "Jim Moriarty. The most horrible awful son of a bitch you would have ever met. It took me so long to realize. You are someone completely different. You look the same and hell, have the same first name." He looked up and lightly placed his lips on Jamie's. As Sebastian leaned back and scanned Jamie's face, as if checking one final time. "But you're not him." For the first time in so long, it all just slipped away. His paranoia went and he felt comfortable letting his guard down. It felt so good. He felt so relaxed, and yet, so…..disappointed.

Jamie suddenly looked incredibly nervous. "There's something I haven't told you. Something big, but I swear I didn't think it was important till now…" Sebastian didn't think much of it. Jamie didn't have any big secrets. Nothing was ever extreme or big about him. Just same boring Jamie. Sebastian leaned back fairly uninterested but with full attention. "Oh really?" Jamie pouted "I'm serious!" Sebastian couldn't help but laugh at his pouty face. "Ok ok! I'm listening." Sebastian quit laughing as he saw Jamie's face sink. "A long time ago. I had an identical twin brother. He was named after our grandfather while I was named Richard originally. He was a horrid little boy and it was quite clear he was a sociopath. Dad didn't mind at first when he was only killing bugs and small animals and such. But one day he killed a neighbor boy, and he didn't understand what was wrong. My brother just killed a boy because he called him a freak and yet, he was so smiley and cheery. Dad was furious and after beating him an inch to his life he disowned him and kicked him out of the house. Then dad decided that my brother was such scum that he didn't deserve grandfather's name, so he had my name changed to James. I haven't seen my brother in years but-" Sebastian heard the door open but was so intensely focused on Jamie's story. Jamie had stopped mid sentence and was suddenly wide eyed. "SEBASTIAN-" but before he could finish, Sebastian grabbed his gun. As he was turning around to shoot, he felt a swift blow to the back of the head. As his head dropped to the ground and his eyes slowly shut, he saw a figure putting a cloth in Jamie's mouth and begin to tie him up.

* * *

Sebastian's eyes started to flutter open. He was flat on the floor with only his hands tied behind his back. His eyes search the room as he tried to piece together what happened.  _Ok so I'm locked in a dark metal room, I'm tied up and have no idea where I am. Nothing new there. So if I'm tied up here then Jim is probably- JIM. Shit I remember now. Me and Jamie got kidnapped. Shitshitshit. He is going to piss himself and die of a heart attack before I even get to him._  He shifted around and tried to reach in his back pocket for his switchblade.  _Fuck. They took it. That's not surprising._  He looked around for anything to use to cut himself free. There was a panel of the wall that was coming up. The edge wasn't that sharp, but it was better than nothing. Sebastian wriggled his way toward the panel and started to cut the rope, but was startled by a loud crashing noise from the other side of the door.

"Why did I keep you alive? You were about to spoil the surprise and now you've ruined EVERYTHING." That voice. That was his Jim. There was no denying it. That calmness escalating to rage. There was no disputing it. Sebastian felt the strangest mix of anger, contentment and mortal terror. Oh yeah, that adrenaline rush was back. That fear and joy was back and it felt good. That was Jim Moriarty.

A familiar meek voice responded. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. Please just-" In his excitement over Jim he forgot about Jamie.  _If I don't get out of here soon, he is going to kill Jamie. Then again, if I get out he will probably kill Jamie anyways just to spite me and tell me 'tut tut' for keeping a 'pet'. Better keep quiet anyways._

"All those boring months gone to waste because you couldn't control him."

"He was dying without you and he was going to kill me if I didn't calm him down with something! I wasn't going to tell, please believe me, dear brother-" Sebastian heard a loud resounding slap. "Aww bloo bloo bloo the baby cries. You are incredibly useless. I used to think I can use you but you have proven otherwise and now I'm not so sure if I can use Sebby anymore. Poo…I don't know what to do with you two. I'll just have to see when he wakes up." Sebastian's rope was mostly whittled down but became snagged on the panel. When he finally pulled the rope free, his force propeled him back on the floor with a loud thud. "Oh…It would seem he's awake. Let's see if he's up for a chat shall we?"

Sebastian heared the door click and watched as light floods the room as Jim opens the door. He looked up at Jim. The shadows fell on him perfectly. There was something so completely intimidating and, god this wasn't the time to think about this but incredibly attractive about how the light fell (or didn't fall) on him. Jim grabbed Sebastian by the neck and pulled him to his feet. "How ya been, Seb?" Sebastian took a step forward to tackle him, but met the barrel of Jim's gun. "Hmm, I guess by that reaction, a little irritable, but I'll take that as a "I'm doing fine, sir" considering we have business right now and no time to sort out the social stuff. Follow me, dear." As he was backing into the room where Jamie was, he waggled his finger to have Sebastian come closer. The second Sebastian entered Jamie's line of sight, he started screaming. "I'm so sorry, Sebastian! Please let him live, please!" Sebastian tried to shush him and calm him down. Jim got aggravated with both of them "Oh just shut up or I'll put a bullet in both your heads!" Jamie proceeded to shut up. "Now now, Seb. I never expected you to show any form of sentiment. But to him? Not a good thing to have a weakness. I can't have you being weak. Though I could be wrong you being too weak…" Jim stared down at Sebastian. He could read his thoughts. Every sick little thought and his body told it all. Sebastian wasn't even looking at Jamie. He was too focused on Jim. "No wait, I'm right. You do have a weakness." Jim shoved the gun in his own mouth. Sebastian began to run forward, but stopped as he realized how his body betrayed him. Jim took the gun out of his mouth and pointed it at Sebastian again. "Interesting. But I still can't tell if you're loyal to me or not. I mean, you did think that this blubbering idiot was me for a while. I mean, how could you not tell us apart?"

"Of course I could tell, you were so obviously-" Sebastian anger changed into shock in an epiphany and began to break into a big laugh. "What is so funny?" Sebastian couldn't stop. "Oh ho, it has been a long time hasn't it? You really got me good. I was beginning to wonder whether or not I missed you." Jim began to smile and changed the guns direction toward Jamie. "Happy to see me? Well, that was easier than I expected. Mind if I kill the spare?" He said looking at Jamie. "Oh no, allow me!" Sebastian was able to finally wiggle out of the rope and quickly grabbed the gun out of Jim's hand. Sebastian tackled Jamie and put the gun to his throat. "Sebastian! Oh god what are you doing?" Jamie was blubbering again. "Oh you are a manipulative bitch. All to see if I could tell the difference and remain loyal to you. But even you aren't perfect" Jamie was frantic "What are you-" Sebastian grabbed his arms and showed him. "The red marks from when I grabbed you earlier today," Sebastian without moving his eyes, pointed his gun behind him at the other Jim. "are now miraculously on your brother." James immediately quit his blubbering and just smiled. "Oh gooooood. VERY good in fact. I ought to give you a raise. Very observant. Now that is my Seb." Sebastian moved his gun back to his Jim that was under his grip. "Now, while this game has been entertaining boss, you have driven me a little over the edge and I don't think I'd hesitate to kill you right now." Jim grinned at him just like Sebastian had imagined him not too long ago. "No you wooon't" he said in a sing songy voice. The other James came up behind Sebastian and put his hands on Sebastian's chest as he whispered in his ear "because I am your only weakness." Before Sebastian had time to turn, he felt the chloroform rag cover his mouth and nose. "Damn you…" slurred out of his mouth as he collapsed.

As he was closing his eyes again he saw both the twins staring at him with that same dirty grin on. His Jim pushed his hair out of his face and lightly kissed him on the forehead. His eyes finally closed and the last thing he heard Moriarty whisper before he drifted into unconciousness. "Welcome back Sebastian Moran."

**Author's Note:**

> For those who haven't read the books, James Moriarty is a cannon character...the other James. Jim had a brother who was also named James. ACD was either very poor with continuity or the most fantastic troll in all of literature. Nothing is really described about the second Jim, so I made him a twin.
> 
> Also, older work so its semi-shitty (if not completely shitty) so don't hate me too much. And I honestly can't be arsed to fix the things I hate because life is so demanding.


End file.
